I like music. And people who like music a lot tend to be pretty opinionated about the bands they listen to. For me, I gravitate to music that not only sounds good, but also has lyrical depth. Sure, I have several songs in my library that are lyrically empty, but they make up for it with a good rhythm.
My genre of choice is Rock. But even then, there are so many styles and subgenres that it’s just too difficult to explain without sounding like a pretentious hipster. For example, there’s hardcore, metalcore, indie, alternative, punk, and more. It’s all technically rock, but not really.
My point is that there are bands I love and bands I absolutely hate with a seething passion. Here they are:
5. Five Finger Death Punch
I’m not gonna lie. I don’t think I’ve ever heard one of this band’s songs. However, I know what their fans look like. FFDP fans are the modern-day Pantera/Slayer fans. They’re white trash that hates country. A lot of FFDP fans are also white supremacists. I have no factual evidence to back that up, but look at these guys:
There’s a good chance some of them are white supremacists themselves. No metal band should have that many dreadlocks. Also, you play music. You’re not tough guys.
4. Theory of a Deadman
Theory of a Deadman is Nickelback for people who are in denial about how much they love Nickelback. They sound the same. Their songs are about the same things. What pissed me off about TOAD is that arguably their most famous song is an empty radio single about some skank.
Then they turn it around and write a heartfelt ballad about a breakup. Lyrically empty. Also, I hate the singer’s voice. That’s really it.
When these guys got together to form a band, their goal was to become the official band of awful strippers. And they succeeded because they forgot Def Leppard and Warrant were already ruling that circuit.
Also, there’s no other singer on the planet that sounds more constipated.
2. Imagine Dragons
The only reason I hate this band is because of the mainstream record industry, which makes me sound so hipster that it makes me hate this band even more. Imagine Dragons is the product of a record label who knows there needs to be a mainstream rock act on the radio but can’t rely on Coldplay to be edgy enough, especially when the Foo Fighters are too edgy for mainstream.
I also hate this guys voice. He matches his cadence too closely to the rhythm, which means he lacks the ability to harmonize on his own. He also tries to sound too much like an African tribal band in some of the choruses.
Come on. Were you even surprised?
The most soulless, empty band on the planet. They’ve never made a heartfelt song ever. Every single is a grab at radio plays. Every fan that attends their concert has no musical knowledge whatsoever and just goes to drink and grab teenage butts when they crowdsurf. They’re the reason music is awful.