Thoughts from the Alt-Middle Part 1: Arguments

I don’t consider myself to be a Republican or a Democrat. I tend to take all of my social and political issues on a case-by-case basis. I don’t think I’m better than anyone for that. I’m just reasonable. And with all this talk about the alt-right and alt-left destroying mainstream politics, there’s another group out there who has begun to feel left out. We are the alt-middle.

Hey guys, I know all that stuff in Charlottesville with the white supremacists was pretty bad. I know that, probably, all of these statues and street signs honoring old Confederate characters probably has some sting to it, but let’s keep a few things in mind here:

3. They still lost

Let’s say the South had won and over time we still ended up dropping slavery and racial inequality as a hallmark of our American way of life. All of these statues of Stonewall Jackson or Robert E. Lee would be way more offensive. As they are now, they really are a sign of America’s history.

War hero. And also probably a racist.

Do these statues adequately explain what made these Confederate characters generally awful people? Probably not because at the end of the day they still loved Jesus and that makes them good people. But they are reminders of history nonetheless. How you choose to interpret it is nobody’s fault but your own.

2. Museums are a thing

But hey, here’s a solution. Each Southern city can have their own Confederate museum branded as a heritage museum where they should, but won’t, talk about how those old timey Confederates egregiously treated other human beings, also known as “the blacks.”

(and then we trap them all inside and light the building on fire amirite?)

It’s a win-win for everyone. The soft liberals won’t have to walk by those statues in public places and develop fake PTSD over fake problems, and hardcore conservatives history lovers can visit those museums and enjoy/learn about their past racism heritage.

1. This is a good sign

Let’s stop for a second and think about this. We’re arguing over statues. Things in America are so gloriously wonderful that we are having heated debates over glorified lawn decorations.

The green is kind of tacky.

We’re not worried about gas prices. We’re not worried about a nuclear holocaust. We’re not worried about some new pandemic coming to kill us all. We’re worried about statues. Life is pretty good right now.

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