I don’t think this comes as a surprise to anyone, but I have been single for quite some time. Maybe it’s because I’m really picky, or maybe it’s because bald guys with blogs are generally unlovable. Whatever the reason is, I’ve spent the last few years dating and trying to learn how people work. Needless to say, it’s pretty depressing.
3. Online Dating Makes It Okay to Lie
I’ll be honest – I’ve tried several online dating sites because there really isn’t a stigma to it these days, primarily because we’re all busy and being on our phones is way more fun than actually going outside. The problem is that, until you meet someone in person, you have no idea if the person you’re talking to is the same person that you read about on their profile or see in their pictures. Even though there are pretty simple ways to figure out if the pictures someone has are real or stolen from some sex trafficked European girl, the problem with the real pictures is that you can project an unrealistic version of yourself. Usually it’s how you angle your body so you don’t appear as fat as you really are.
And let me be clear, I don’t care if someone is overweight. It’s not like I only want skinny super models in my life. I do, however, want honest people. And if you’re actively trying to deceive someone by using pictures that don’t accurately portray how you look in real life, then you’re not being true to yourself and you’re starting every single relationship you have with someone – dating or otherwise – on a lie. Guys and girls both do it and for some reason people think it’s okay.
2. Very Few People Know How to Have a Conversation
I’m not the most outgoing person, but I at least know how an engaging conversation works. If you’re interested in a person and they ask you a question about yourself (What’s your favorite restaurant?), then once you answer, you ask them the same thing in return. It’s not supposed to be an interrogation.
And yet either because they’re all narcissistic and only want to talk about themselves, or they’ve quickly changed their minds and aren’t interested in you, they still let you keep playing 20 questions with them.
1. You Have to Learn How to Be a Jerk
Despite my outward appearance, I’m actually a kind person…some may even say tender-hearted. I’m also extremely introverted, which makes it that much more difficult to not only start relationships, but also end them. So when the time comes where I realize that nothing is going to come out of any series of conversations or dates, it’s almost like breaking up with someone I’ve known for years. And that sucks, because when you do that to someone, you’re basically saying to another person that you never want to see them or know anything else about their existence ever again.
That’s harsh, but it’s a depressing part of reality that no one really prepares you for. We’re trying to find someone who loves us (mostly) unconditionally, but oftentimes we just cultivate relationships with people before ultimately not caring about them anymore. There’s no real in between, and that sucks.